If I ask people what they think of me, they are usually polite (well, usually.) But if I ask them if they’d be willing to tell me what other people say about me, I give them the opportunity to say things without putting them in the awkward position of criticizing me to my face. Quite often, they say “Well, now you’ve asked, there are some people-not me, of course-who think you could improve in these areas.” We can then discuss it without raising the emotional temperature on either side.
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